The Phrases of the Young

Posted on June 14, 2011

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What do you mean? I'm English.

OK, before you read on, be prepared to cast your eyes over a very skeptical post coupled with some very harsh words. Why, you ask? Well, this issue has been lingering for a very long time, and it’s time that somebody addresses it-that being me.

Ever since time began, the human vocabulary has immensely expanded from the Shakespearean era, to the Queen Victorian century. During Shakespeare, we were all accustomed to the normal ‘thou’, ‘art’ and ‘poisonous bunch-back’d toad’, welcoming the obscure language that has become historic. The Language of Flowers was also widely acknowledged as a Victorian era, however where do we stand today? After all the intellectual language used during the Victorian and Shakespeare era, one would think that this world renowned for its extensive use of vocabulary would have adapted to survive in todays age. But, what have we been graced with?  A fascinating, sophisticated vocabulary? Or even an intelligent, cultivating dictionary? No, instead, we are faced with a dictionary designed to baffle every person on this planet, created by the youths.

These people are responsible for the Slang

The Shakespearean language seemed to have been created by smart individuals. The Victorian vocabulary looked to have been produced by strong, powerful people. Todays dictionary seems to be collaborated by mere monkeys sitting with a computer. Yes, the monkeys I speak of are the imbeciles that created certain words that are incredibly tedious and of course, absolutely obscene.

The Phrases Used

So, as I continue to vent my frustration at the ludicrous words and phrases used today, I can already here you ask, ‘what are those words and phrases that you speak of?’. Well, here are a few that should grind your gears.

  •  ‘Oh My Days’

This commonly used phrase is intended to express ones sheer shock at something they have witnessed or heard. The original phrase was ‘Oh My God’, however the children of todays age have incorporated it into their language, omitting the religious side of the phrase and replacing it by a daily resemblance. I would not be the least bit surprised if it begins to change into ‘Oh My Mondays’ on that particular day. Just sayin’

  •  ‘She’s Dro’

This may be less frequently used, however it is still susceptible to my vengeful anger. ‘She’s Dro’ is a reference to a girl that is finely tuned, a girl that is very attractive and beautiful. Originally, the phrase was ‘She’s hot’, but now the monkeys have become excruciatingly bored with ‘hot’, and now the new term of ‘dro’ has hit the heights. Be wary, this phrase could be in the dictionary 50 years from now.

  • ‘You Get Me’

Formerly, ‘Do you understand what I am saying?’, the phrase has now drastically changed into something purely mystifying. ‘You get me’ has blasted its way through the youth vocabulary, and is commonly used in todays age. The phrase was used to be something that a couple would say to each other, to express their love, intimacy and common ground that they share, however that will no longer work. Refrain from using this if you are enticing your loved one.

  • ‘Blad’

The trend used to be ‘mate’, or ‘friend’, or even ‘compatriot’ in the older days, however the youths again have created a monster in the term ‘blad’. The word can be used in various contexts, the most famous being ‘What’s up Blad’, meaning ‘how are you today in this fine weather that we are having, friend?’. This is by far the most vexatious one, making hardly any sense in order to convey a simple meaning of ‘friend’. What’s so wrong with ‘friend’? C’mon monkeys, wake up a bit!

  • ‘How’s it crackin’

Another phrase that can be misconstrued as a euphemism, however mainly implemented as a common expression. ‘How’s it crackin’ is a reference to ‘how is the day coming along for you’, however the ‘crackin’ gives the phrase a different meaning. For the sake of this blog being childproof, I will allow you to imagine and contemplate the real meaning of the term, you know what I mean, right? If not, just forget about it.

  • ‘Sick’

Well, if there is a better worse word than this, I would love to hear it. ‘Sick’ is used in various contexts such as expressing ones joy and elation at something, or saying how amazing it was. Normally used for explaining a problem in someones bowl movements or what comes out of your mouth after eating Brussels, ‘Sick’ has been unjustifiably taken by the monkeys and used in the most ridiculous of phrases. Why, monkeys, why?

You don't make sense!

The five aforementioned phrases are mostly frequently used, and terms that I and many others are easily annoyed at. I am sure that I speak on behalf of others when I say that the terms are ridiculous and needless in todays world. I especially feel sorry for the granddads of today, when they sit with their teenage grandsons whilst they use the phrases ‘dude, that chick was dro blad’  and their expressions shows utter bemusement. I can just imagine, in ten years time, new phrases and means of communication will be invented and then where will we go? Can we actually be accustomed to their language? Can we sustain in a world dominated by a dictionary which will be then called ‘lil’ words’? I don’t think so. So, to keep up to date with the monkeys and to continue reveling in our useful, easily comprehensible language, we must adapt to the enemy’s approach. How? By joining their forces. Granddads, be prepared to use ‘dro’ when praising your counterpart, you get me?

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